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For those of you who 'hide' money from your Dh's, or don't 'let' them buy things they want, etc.. do you also work outside the home? Or is it money from his paycheck? Do you have a lot of debt then? Which I know, is considered "household" money. And I do agree with that... very much so.
However... I would never dream to 'hide' money that he's worked for, or tell him we have no money when we actually do... we make joint decisions on larger amounts (holiday pay, income tax refunds, etc..) and other than that, we pay rent, bills, savings, and each have some fun money for the month to ourselves.
Right now he's saving up for a BIG tv, (you know boys and their toys... ) it's definitely not on my priority list, but he's saving his 'mad money', and when we share some of his vacation pays, income taxes, etc.. i'm sure that's where his will be going. And when it comes right down to it, if he wants something that we can afford (after bills, etc), he gets it, why shouldn't he? And he does the same for me...
Just wondering if i'm the alone in thinking this.. and I *REALLY* hope I don't offend anyone... just wondering where everyone stands on this issue.
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Yeah, if you can afford it and he wants it, why not buy it? I just don't even know about the splitting up extra money. We have never had you get so much and I get so much. Its seems forgien to me. If there are large purchases we talk about them, period, regardless of who earned the money or who wants it.
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I do not believe in seperate checking accounts and I do not believe in spliting bills
to me this is bizzar and not a marriage, its called roommates. No offense thats just how I feel about my marriage. IF my dh ever wanted to go something like this I would think he wanted to hide something. The way I see it either you trust me or you dont!
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Originally Posted by chatsalot
For those of you who 'hide' money from your Dh's, or don't 'let' them buy things they want, etc.. do you also work outside the home?\.
I work inside the home, and let me tell you, I think THAT is a lot harder!!! and much more work!!!
No, when not pregnant, I work outside our home as well on per diem basis. I also agree with you that a relationship shouldnt be about one person "letting" the other buy things. It is all about communication. DH and I are pretty relaxed about things like that. I don't get mad when he goes on his little "sprees" (the last time he did i got a huge diamond ring) and he doesnt get mad when I go crazy at Target. We are all about being fair around here
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my dh is an accountant!! So he does the bills!! he has no problem if I spend money on the girls or him but the minute I buy something fo rme he gets PO at me!! It is HIS money! and well we never have any unless he wants to buy it!!
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I didn't believe in hiding money until DH & I hit a rough patch a few years ago. It worried me that I had nothing tucked away 'just in case'... so I started a little stash. Pretty much, any time I have $40 or more cash in my wallet, I tuck $20 of it away. Believe me, it's not often - but it goes unnoticed (to me & him). Over the past couple years I'd guess I have stashed maybe two to three hundred?
Now, I work full time. And when we move (this month) I'll continue to work half time. BUT I don't think that should matter. Whether you make the income or you stay at home - in a marriage it shouldn't matter where the money comes from.
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I think I have said this before, but if my husband ever said anything about "his" money I would walk right out "his" front door and not come back.....
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Let me share what we do. As per dh request we started this about six months ago. It has been great for our marriage and great for our bank account. I opened up my own checking account. Every month, I write a check for myself out of the family account. This is our grocery money, etc. Whatever I dont spend we plan on vacations or extra purchases. He gets money from the training he does every month that is his personal money. Any additional money I earn, from my work athome job and babysitting is mine, goes in my account (the same one with the grocery money) I dont hide money from him, but he doesnt know how much I have, he doesnt even know how much we have in our family checking account. But I have money that I spend freely and he does too. He saved his money and bought we a new wedding band. I saved mine and paid for a vacation. It works great. I havent gone over grocery budget in months and our debt is quickly disappearing.
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I have a part time job and i put most,sometimes all of my paycheck into our checking account. I help him pay bills, if i have a big enough check i will pay the phone bill or buy groceries or pay for the kids hot lunch money with just my check. Large purchases like furniture or appliances we discuss together. Occasionally i will hide $10-$20 just for me, my fun money to spend on special coffee,or a paperback book at the Used Book Store,etc.I figure that's not alot to hide considering he spends more than that per week on his cigarettes!