we had all this talk about marriage and moving in with each other in a apartment. Also talk of kids and the future and all the i love you stuff. i dint feel she was perfect in some respects but who is as well as she thought this about me. in the begining of the relationship she said i was too god for her. we broke up about a week ago and i feel somewhat over with her and all this was shortly after i found out my mother has MS she is fine now and out of the hospital. i feel this girl needs emotional help because of her family and things in her life also a lot on insecurity’s about things and fears of not natural things such as planes, trains, cars, crowds, security at home, as well as sexual things she is also very childish and needs things her way and has a low self esteem. when she walked she looked down and it seemed that she was negitive about stuff. I would drive out there and devoted myself to the relationship without me it wouldn’t have worked out too well. after a few weeks of dating i noticed she had anger problems. As well as her parents not treating her right and it was a dysfunctional family. Also her habits such as hygiene, cleaning and edicate were poor. From the point we hooked up till the end i would try to see her every day and i gave her gifts i did the so called “boyfriend thing”. After awhile money for me was getting low and i started limiting spending after the first month. we did have sex but maybe 2 times a week she would let me know if she was wanting to do it which was every day or every couple days, I would try to do things with her sometimes while we were at bed and i would get a i’m tired and i would sometimes get aggravated due to her arousing me to it earlier and i would lay on her and be like are you sure and then she would still say no and i would back off. I think she has sexual problems due to maybe she was raped or beaten because of not doing it or forced to im not sure and i realized i wasnt helping and i soon stopped doing that. She has resorted to cutting herself to relieve the stress also lashing out at people about things. she doesn’t really wanna speak to me or talk in general i sometimes get her to pick up the phone. I am very concerned and i feel i should help. I wanna help her by talking things out with her about her past experiences. I went to her house on Saturday because she told me to and when i was half way there she told me she doesn’t know. I know i have been pressuring her but i wanted to know. also i spilled my heart to her telling her my feelings. when i asked her to tell me how she felt she couldn’t open up and she went on the defensive. i would like to try to make her better either by me talking to her and listening and giving advice or enrolling her in some form of mental help. i think She is defiant somewhat and doesn’t think she needs help and also in the same respect thinks she does. she thinks if she goes it makes her a crazy person or people will make fun of her. I myself have attended therapy for a couple weeks a long time ago about my parents being divorced. I told her i went to therapy and told her that i was going there and i didn’t get cast out from society and i told her it is a natural thing for alot of people. Alot of people are asking why i should care and she is history but i feel i should help her and stick around for the time being. at the same time a lot of people are telling me she is got some serious mental problems about life. She is confused about us being together i think still i have been calling her and for a bit asking to solve this and get back together. I told her today we could be friends or if she feels we could get back together it was her choice. i need help on what i should do i wanna help her… sorry about posting this twice but i left out information…
Answer:
I just went through a pretty crazy relationship like that which lasted 14 months. I know that you care about her but stay out of a relationship with her. It will end up making you miserable. As for being friends with her, i strongly recommend it. She sounds like she needs help, and a shoulder to cry on will make her feel loved. Try taking her to counseling or group therapy, it sounds like she has a lot of issues that need to be worked out.