He was a little dog probably a poodle yorkie mix. He was sick and my mom told me to go out under the house with a pellet gun and kill him.
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at 14 you were still a child and that was wrong to be asked to do anything like that. I'm terribly sorry for that experience but know that it is in the past and you are a wonderful person that GOD loves.
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listen to your help bot... You are not alone with your feelings. I accidentally ran over our cat, it wasn't dead, it was very very badly hurt though. Beyond any help... It had to be put down too... I felt soo horrible... I can completly imagin how you feel. To feel responsibe for somethings death and pain is not an easy burden to bear. I totally see where you are coming from, but hurting yourself is not going to help anything at all. You were very young when that happened, you should not have been made to do that... but you need to try to forget it. it wasn't your fault, dwelling on something that you cannot fix at this point will not help anything, only cause you more dicomfort. You need to forgive yourself and realize that awful things happen. Listen to the helpbot, and try not to think of it as much... I hope I helped...
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that's horrible that your mother would even consider letting her 14-year-old son kill the family dog. it's sad and horrible, but you can get over it. i don't believe in God so i can't help you with that part but have you considered maybe getting another dog? that might be a horrible suggestion for you and if it is, forget it, but maybe i could help.
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Of course God forgives you, you were a child doing what you were told to do. He was sick, thousand upon thousand of people put the pets to sleep everyday, so they won't suffer, I understand that it probably seemed like forever to you, but it really probably wasn't and again you just doing what you told, you should not carry such regret.
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Thanks for the kind words. I'm not going to hurt myself or anything. The guilt sometimes just gets to me and it's like I'm living it all over again. Like it happened 5 minutes ago, not 23 years ago.