I dont think about her when I go to work.
I rarely say ‘I love you’.
I have been with her for seven years.I want to go but I dont want to hurt her.
Do I have to sacrifice my happiness for this person,because she loves me,
looks after me.? Is it guilt thats making me stay?Should I just up and go,because
there is NO nice way to go anyway?Is it better for her in the long run for me to go?
Is the line between love and care so fine?
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Who are you seeing?
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A woman who lives with me.
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maybe it feels like you aren't in love because neither of you are acting like it. Have you tried asking her out and trying to seduce her all over again? Or are you already gone?
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She loves me,but I dont love her.
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Why not? I think your mis-phrasing. You aren't attracted to her. if you didn't love her then you wouldn't be concerned about her feelings.
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Im a very caring person.I dont like to hurt anyone.She has been a diamond to me but its not enough.We started within a month of my marriage breakup up seven years ago and I didnt get the time to get over it.Very bad timing.I wasnt thinking straight then.
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You married a rebound.
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We are not married.I refuse to do that.I think I no what a rebound is.Can you give me your idea of one?
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A rebound is a person who catches a missed shot. you shot and missed and she was there to catch you. its nobodys fault really. you needed each other. have you been able to return that favor? or are you going to do to her what your first relationship did to you? It seems clear to me that you know what thin ice you are on. I can see that this is no small problem.
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I have tried to go along normally with her,trying to ignore what i am feeling,but I find it harder all the time.I have a long fuse.Seven years worth.Your right,she was there for me.She left her husband for me,whome she was unhappy with.Like you say,she needed me as I needed her.Not now though.Im ready to fly.But guilt and memories and hurting her are stopping me.But I feel life is too short to hang around.I hate pretending to her all the time.She is so lovely to me.
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I think you should marry her. and i don't mean fake it. She sounds like a gem. your lucky to have her. the part of you that can't seem to love her is the part of you that dimmed out 7 years ago. I'm certain she is desperately clinging to the idea that someday you can give yourself to her totally. I seems to me you never have. and that make her as complacent as you. You both need to sell the house quit you jobs and move to a new city and get to know each other oll over again your stagnant. the only cure for that is mobility. you owe it to eachother.
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Okay.I shall take that into consideration.Thankyou for taking the time out for your advice.I hope to speak to you again soon one day.Let you know whats happening. All the best to you.
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and you too. I hope all goes well for both of you.
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Thankyou.
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I think you need to figure out how your life would be without her. If you think you can live happily without her, then do her the favor and break it off, because she will find someone who truly loves her and wouldn't do this to her after so many years of being together.
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Why should you be unhappy at the expence of another? If you are not happy with that person they are not getting all of you and can't truely be happy either. Is this person just dependent? Life is to short to be with someone that you truely dont love. It's unfair to you and the other person.
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You want to know what true love is: Caring for a person, that's all. It's not just a feeling of butterflies, or charm, that's just a starting phase of relationships, it's the 'honeymoon phase'. But there's a time when you see each other for what you REALLY are, with faults and virtues, and it's THEN when the thing that keeps a relationship together is RESPONSABILITY, you both started a relationship and you both kept it going this long, now that it's time to start a family you want a new woman.... You've been together for 7 years, if you had been only for 5 months that would be something different.. this is not the case. I don't want to believe so fast that you are such a caring person, if you've been with her for 7 years, she has probably given you her youth, and YOU KNEW all these time that she wanted to marry you. Now you just want to run. Yes you can leave her, yes probably you'll find a younger girl that will give you pleasure and innocense, but guess what, most likely she won't love you like this one, maybe the new one will marry you and then leave you and take half of what you have with her. Quoting from: post/90639-the-worst-year-of-my-life "Relationships are tuff, but the most important part, DO NOT GIVE UP! The next relationship will be the SAME. THAT IS THE WAY IT IS….." I'm sorry if I sounded judgamental. I guess it's good for her if you leave her. That's what always happens anyway. Good luck.
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Hi, I think you really need to look at yourself and decide what is right for you. The replies above certainly contain validity. It is YOUR life and YOU are the one who must live it. Love??? Well, you may or may not find that illusive butterfly and it may or may not decide to hang around. Only time will tell. If you do not have 'those feelings' for this woman, regardless of how your relationship has been over the past 7 years ... and your heart is telling you to move on ... then you need to do what you need to do. DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT TALKING TO HER ABOUT IT!! It would be totally COWARDLY of you to do that! & totally disrespectful of her as a person ... she would always wonder why you just took off ... THAT would be CRUEL and HORRIBLE!! Yes, the discussion would be a difficult one but, a necessary one. If you take the cowards way out and don't talk to her, you should NEVER forgive yourself for being so incredibly cruel.
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Thankyou for your advice