Corporal punishment:
Synonymous with “physical punishment.”.” It means the intentional infliction of pain on the body for purposes of punishment or controlling behavior. It includes slapping, spanking, hitting with objects, pinching, shaking, and forcing to stand for long periods of time. Spanking:
Hitting with the flat of the hand usually on the buttocks for punishment or for stopping a behavior. Studies show that a majority of parents who use corporal punishment feel badly about it and don’t think it works to improve behavior. Parents who support spanking often use one of the following arguments: Spanking is an effective way to manage behavior.
I got hit when I was a kid and I turned out OK.
If we don’t spank children, they’ll grow up rotten.
The bible says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”
Do you agree that Corporal punishment(spanking) is child abuse?
“To spank or not to spank”!? “hitting models hitting” How can we stop this= Education and discipline! Where are the programs? Why isn’t spanking watched more closely, how can authority watch it closely without over stepping the parents space and rights to their children?
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"I got hit when I was a kid and I turned out OK. " Although, I'm not sure I plan on having children, sooooo...
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I'm not pro or against it, I'm seeing what you and others feel about it. Does it put fear into you? Would you not have children thinking you may hit them as you were hit? You did turn out ok, great in fact; but do you think your kids fate will be the same because the change of times and acceptance in today's society? You spank your kids in the store and you can be arrested, as your children grew up as spanked kids do you think they will feel different then others or do think that spanking is still as strong as it was in the 50's; but behind doors and not talked about.
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I dunno. I only ever got verbal abuse, and I didn't exactly turn out normal... Corporal punishment can be an important factor in curbing out of control kids, I guess, but then, its use is too frequently associated with anger and agression rather than discipline.
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Corporal punishment with specific limits, is more direct and immediate with only short term affects on leaving a lasting "point" behind, remember physical pain sensations cannot be remembered, where as verbal abuse can last a life-time, and can forever twist a developing mind. I have two well adjusted young adults who went through a controlled level of corp. punishment as I did, and my parents, and so-forth. It is only bad when it is used without control and specific to something that warrants it.
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"It is only bad when it is used without control and specific to something that warrants it" That sums my feelings up pretty well, but I also think that the baby boomer generation, and their parents, were too harsh. I can remember my grandfather handing me his pocket knife and telling me to go outside and cut myself a switch. That was a bit much. I dated a girl once whose parents used to take the belt to her when she was younger, and she was MESSED UP! I only ever got spankings, and not very often. Only for really, REALLY, bad things, like when I decided to play with the woodstove at the age of six. So I think it actually works, in moderation. I think without it, kids get nasty. My wife was spanked when she was younger, and she's a wonderful human being. Her sister, only a few years younger and growing up in the exact same house and situation never was, and she's a spoiled little you know what...so. Spare the rod, and all that. But don't actually use a rod.
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My mother used a belt on me as well. She smacked me for talking, locked me in closets for crying. Taped me to chairs for playing..etc.etc...I turned out ok I guess. I would never go that far but I would spank if needed. The reason her hitting never worked is because I wasn't doing anything wrong but being a normal 5 year old and wanting to play. When I was 11 I liked to burn stuff well one time I caught the garage on fire. She didn't say a word and gave me the look of death. I never caught stuff on fire ever again. I had no respect for my mother growing up and even laughed at her while she hit me. It was everyday for the same stuff. She hated to hear my voice and she hated to hear me cry. One time I asked for something to eat, she gave me bread with dish soap all over it. She was mean! I think if the child does something to hurt themselves then spanking is needed. If they talk back I'm not sure where I stand on spanking. All I know is when the kid is hit it causes them to act worse most of the time. It causes crying and most parents hate that and will only grow anger and hit more. If you think hitting your kids works then by all means spank but if they get mad and cry and don't have any respect for you...."Then it's not working and you should try not to spank as much!"
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Spanking really should be a last resort and really all it reflects is that the parent has lost control of the child and gotten frustrated. I don't think it should be a crime, but 99% of the time better alternatives exist.
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I got spanked a lot when I was little, and (I think) I turned out OK. I will say that my parents NEVER spanked me when they were mad--they'd make me go to my room until they were thinking rationally again. Also, they never hit me with their hands, either. As I sit here thinking about it, they did a very good job handing out discipline. I got away with some things that I probably should have been spanked for, but I don't think I ever got spanked when I didn't deserve it.
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I just read a few more of the posts, and my Dad would sometimes make me go get a switch too. I would come back with the most dead, brittle things that I could find. For some reason, dad would use them anyway, and they'd break almost instantaneously. Somehow, I don't think dad liked spanking me very much.
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Ok, now I'll actually answer the question... I think that if you hit your child when you are mad, you are dangerously close to the line, if not over it. I don't know how to police that, I'm afraid.
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I am pro corporal punishment but parents must have control. all of my sisters and i were hit by our parents but if i look back on it, if i wasn't never punished for some of the bad things i did, i would be a druggie failing out of high school. kids today are spoiled and don't have any morals or respect, their parents should beat the shit out of them. of course my parents weren't as strict as your parents liz( ie. taping to chair) i felt like deserverd it all the time i got hit, ie cheating, swearing when i was younger... all that bad stuff
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I've only ever slapped my kid once, and that's becuase he was sound asleep, standing in the middle of his room, peeing on the carpet. That's a long, and different, story. I had to!! I couldn't wake him up!! I didn't hit him hard. Kinda like a glass of cold water is what I wanted it to feel like. I use my voice. I guess dad's often do that. I'm very careful about how often I use my 'big voice'. I think it works just as well as hitting.
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One time I was making dinner and my son was 1 or 2 I think and he got my butter knife and was about to stick it in the plug, I ran and pushed him as hard as I could out of fear. He cried and I held him and told him I was scared and sorry. He got over it and I did with time. I didn't push him out of anger I pushed him out of fear. I spanked my girl once for spitting in my diner plate. She was very upset and didn't talk to me for days. I talked to her and told why I smacked her butt and she said sorry and everything went back to normal. I try very hard to not get mad, I'm not a mad person so I don't feel the need to take it out on my kids. Now I do yell, I raise my voice and make them clean their rooms..etc..etc! My girl kind of talks back to me but I try to keep my cool and be all ears. My kids and I are close, I home schooled them for a while and now they are in regular school and having that time away from them feels good. I get my house clean and have personal space. I don't work really so I have no stress. Most parents that work are angry people that's why I chose not to work, well my husband wants me to stay home as well. Work causes stress and if stress causes you to have anger and then take it out on your kids. So Yes I may spank if needed but my children are very well behaved and have a lot of respect for me so I haven't had much reason to spank them.