like her very much we like alot of the same things in common its very odd she’s not immature at all doesnt care about money or anything its very cool i had no idea she was 18 ive decided to date her after i knew she was 18 but she has said that her father would be very upset if he found out and would forbid it im afraid he will find out and not pay for her college, not a guarantee, we have decided to stay together until she is done college to expose our relationship. any thought i’d like feedback or ways to handle this and things i can do to gain her fathers approval when its exposed to him. i dont look 28 at all either so but i feel like if i lose her im losing the person i was put here to love
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Well pray to god! he will help you! thats all i can say!
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that's a very hard problem you have there. there is quith an age difference, but that shouldn't matter at your ages. her father probably won't understand at first, and will probably be a bit mad but that is no reason not to love her. you just need to think of a way to tell him that shows your respect for her, and him. don't be afraid to bend the truth a bit, about how long ou've been dating. and be ready for yelling, and shouting if this helps any let me know alright
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well legally speaking it is fine. although 10 years is not a huge age gap, but at 18 you'll find eventually that she is not nearly as mature as a 28 years old for she hasnt experianced college, or worked .
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I don't think age matters at all , all that matters is that she's mature. My mom is younger from my dad by 10 years and they are 24 years happily married. You should be friends with her dad first , and show him your good qualities. She's his daughter so if she fell inlove with you then I am sure her dad will like you as well :) All you have to do is let her father know the real you that's all.
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also, don't just spring it on him right away, build up to it however you can
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Generally family members just want their children to be happy and cared for. It may take time but if you and your girlfriend really love each other and make each other happy eventually her family will come round. If she was 40 and you were 50 no one would even consider it unusual. There are 7 years between me and my husband, he is my junior, and he is my soul mate, a perfect match. Age is just a number, it's whats in your heart and head that matters. Give it time, her family will come round. Good luck!
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Generally family members just want their children to be happy and cared for. It may take time but if you and your girlfriend really love each other and make each other happy eventually her family will come round. If she was 40 and you were 50 no one would even consider it unusual. There are 7 years between me and my husband, he is my junior, and he is my soul mate, a perfect match. Age is just a number, it's whats in your heart and head that matters. Give it time, her family will come round. Good luck! i agree with bex to an extent too also bex, do you know what alice means by feeding the avatars?
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do not fan the fire with hate. if her father rejects you: so be it. Do not try to sway him. Let him come around in his own time. are you financially stable? If so, and you can support her, he can pick between losing his daughter or gaining a son.
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Haha, Alice is just offering her 'imaginary' waitress service to give food to you and your 'picture/avatar'. She does a mean burger and fries!
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lol she's gone awa for a bit read her post and has asked me to continue her service LOL
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it should be easier once she goes to college if she lives on campus. then you should be able to stay away from him if need be. just do it gradually good luck!
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Well... I'm not going to be as nice as the other people in this thread, so you can start ignoring me now if that is your habit. First I would agree, she is probably not immature. Young women mature much faster than men. They are forced to, because of the dramatic changes that happen to their bodies... which almost always happens sooner to girls than it does for boys. That being the case... I'm thinking you are the immature one. So considering your ages (10 year difference) that would put you both on pretty much an even playing field; for now! Even though that may be the case... you are both going to go through A LOT of changes. She will grow so much and very fast in College.... as you enter your 30's and start developing more and more in your business, and financial life you too will be changing... this relationship if it is to work, will have to be sooooo FLEXIBLE! I can see counseling in your future! Then there is the dad. Here is a clear example of your immatureity! Dad wont buy it, so we're gonna hide from him! You think that is going to buy you respect from the father of the woman you love?! Guess again! He may not be prepared to let his little girl go right now... most dad's are NOT... but going behind his back is a sin punishable by death! Show him some respect, if that's what you want from him... if she's 18, he truly cannot keep you apart... so what's he going to do... give her to you AND cut her off... If you're SOOOO BAD... why would he be setting his baby up to fail so much! Look, you are going behind his back based on fears and assumptions. If you are not smart enough and brave enough and RESPONSIBLE enough to stand in front of him... and ask for his blessing... then my guess as she starts changing, you will not be able to keep her... women marry "their dad's". ~Richard
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Look, you are going behind his back based on fears and assumptions. If you are not smart enough and brave enough and RESPONSIBLE enough to stand in front of him… and ask for his blessing… then my guess as she starts changing, you will not be able to keep her… women marry “their dad’s”. I agree with him .
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I applaud you richard..Finally someone who speaks his truth.. Polyaners dont appeal tp me..
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I'm with Richard on this one, he really layed it out! After a certain age, the gap isn't such an issue, but for an 18 year old that's a huge difference. In essence, even though she is legally an adult, she is still a child, she has so much living and learning to do. When I was that age I lived with a man 10 yrs my senior, it doesn't work, it's just like Richard said. I think your BOTH immature to hide it from her father, but considering her age, she's allowed to be immature, your supposed to be the grown up, so grow up!
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i agree with richard. except about the girls marry their fathers thing that's not always true...i would never ever marry a man like my father. would it be horrible to try to talk to her father? maybe find some common ground?
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lol... famous last words... here's my email; richhills1 @sbcglobal .net Email me on that day you're with your man, and say... "OMG... you are my dad!" Seriously though... it does not happen 100%, but pretty much 100% would say what you say... "I'd never..." But it happens anyway. God, I would never want to marry someone like my mom... but...oh well... there is actually a good reason for it. Bright blessings~ Richard
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ummm my dad abandoned me while i was in high school, ruined my family, and everyone else's life he touched. i'm pretty sure he has all the qualities i'd never want to be around. you have no idea how this girl feels about her father. families are much more nontraditional now, girls don't always look up to their fathers.
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Well actually... my boyfriend of 16 years is so much like... my mom! How do you figure that happened? Anonymous, it's true that 10 years isn't a big age difference but being in a relationship with anyone under 25 is always a risk in the long term. She might definitely not be the same person 6 or 7 years from now. She still has some growing up to do before she can say she really knows who she is and what she really wants from life. That being said, there's no point in hidding from her dad. Let him get to know you without rushing things. He might actually end up liking you. Take all the time needed for him to accept you. If you are truly sincere and really care for his daughter, he will eventually forget about the age difference and just accept you for the person that you are. Good luck to you.
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I am 28 and dating a 18 year old male. I had to even struggle not to type boy.......we have a amazing connection, one of the best I have ever had. But I do feel like I am being a bit self fish, he's smart and pretty mature for his age. I know alot of older men that have their **** all over the place.....I usually tend to go for the younger ones, more fun and exhilerating. That infacuation is amazing, maybe I just havent gotten over the bright eyed, I'm in love feeling, its addictive. His dad likes me but dissapproves my age, his mom doesnt like I am another race. My mom flipped out. Its not love yet, but it could easily get there. He has alot of life to live, so do I but different stages. It's very difficult, everything around us it stressful, except US. Someone I think may get hurt, on any kind of level. Hiding from parents is hard, we just kinda went into with the shock value. Honestly I am not even where I wanna be in my life. I just felt like I answered my own question
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I am a 30yr old girl dating an 18 year old boy. I doubt he'll stick around for a long time. I told my sister who yelled at me. He is soooo nice and we are more friends than anything. . .he is sweet, him and my kids get along so well. We both ride motorcycles which is how we got to spending time together, then we started watching football together (in a group), then we started riding dirt bikes together (all of this in a group). . .plus me and my kids luv playing video games and it became natural for him to join in. Before I knew it he was always around. And we all like watching movies, he gets along with my friends. Even my best friend who is a pain in the butt. My best friend and him luv football and are true grease monkeys (for u that don't know, means they work on mechanic stuff). They'll even hang out without me now, or him and my kids will hang out at home and play madden and stuff without me. . .and oh, most importantly, he is a Christian and so am I. It isn't about sex or life partnership at this point. Our lives have meshed and now i am realizing i should let him go be an 18 year old but he seems to be enjoying what we do and I we enjoy his company. I know this is a bad idea, he is about to turn 19 and I want him to be older but he isn't. Too bad. . .he'll make a great husband one day but not to me.
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that was a very well written post ivy. it seems you've really got his best interest at hand and that's such a great thing. way to be on top of things and act mature. right on! :O)