thanks to a health scare he swears he is not goiing to drink anymore but he is not doing any kind of AA or anything, anyway now all he wants to do is stay home and do nothing but talk about how sick he was he is totally different now he went from being affectionate, fun and now he sits in a chair and does nothing I am trying so hard to be supportive but it is hard he never even touches me he went from telling me all the time that he loved me and now he has not said it in a week I don’t know what to do I love him and I have stood by him no matter what he did when he was drunk I have forgiven him I just feel like I have bee present from the begining of this relationship and he is just getting here and now I feel akward. I am just really confused and hurt because now our relationship is totally different. I want him to get better and once again I will be paient while he gets it together but I am scared what if the sober him doesn’t like me what are the chances he will relapse if he is not getting any help? Do any of you have any advice?
Answer:
I have a serious family history of alcoholics. I can only tell you that its all up to the person, if will power is there they'll stop, but for some one little thing can give them the excuse they need to go for a hard whiskey. You need to sit down make a compromise and tell him exactly where your at. tell him you'll support him but you wont let him do it his way or the high way. use that power you where given at birth, your mind and your heart. I can promise you, you'll be sick at the stomach at the thoughts of saying it but i can also promise you'll feel alot better with yourself wen you see how well honestly kind but rough talking can do. seriously just tell him, wonem tend to analyse so much more than they should. you'll never know where you stand unless you know exactly what you want.
Answer:
Well I know what I want I want him!!! I love him I really do but I am afraid that he will relaspe I too come from a long line of alcoholics and they all have quit 10 times over becasue they also wanted to do it on their own, he will not go get help he says that he is strong enough to do it on his own and I really want to believe him but I am scared!!! I don't understand why he is treating me so disattly either he knows I love him unconditionally so why the distance?
Answer:
he probably needs to prove to himself that he can do this on his own.For the time being you should just take a back seat and be there if he falls. Your gonna be his rock for the next while you know it or not. He may not tell you how he feels about you but you know in your heart he loves you. Just let him prove he can do it. Hes a man and his pride is highly at stake here.
Answer:
I've dealt with this in my family too. In counseling I heard the term co-dependent. He has to deal with himself, give him some space and let him find his groove. The only thing you can do now is to take care of yourself. I urge you to look up "alcoholism and co dependent" in a search engine and you should find resources and articles that will better advise you how to proceed. The articles will really help you to deal with this. In the meantime if you have some frustration, I strongly suggest you to journal. It will help you vent without starting an unhealthy cycle of venting to your guy who is trying to recover. Let him be, let him work it out. I wish you both the best.