I have a best friend (Karen) who I would die for, and almost two years ago she moved to another country, since then we’ve gotten even closer talking on the phone and online. Recently I started dating this guy (Gary) who didn’t get along with Karen this took a toll on our friendship and my relationship with Gary, eventually Karen and I stopped all contact until, Gary and I went to go see Spider-man 3 and at the end scene where harry dies and all is forgiven I burst into tears immediately thinking of Karen when we got back to Gary’s house he said I was way over reacting and that Karen probably didn’t feel the same way that exact instant my phone rang, it was Karen sobbing and apologizing. We’ve always shared everything including half a brain, we think so much alike its almost like we’re linked if I have a bad day I get a phone call from Karen saying she had a bad day and when things are good they are good for both of us its quite bizarre.
Karen and I being so much alike also are very jealous of one another, we actually met and became friends when I stole her boyfriend and she came to confront me, we talked and realized how stupid we both were and we dumped the guy for good and became friends, since then we’ve always fought over boys and attention. It came to be that whenever we’d both get a guy, I’d end up taking him from her and date both guys til’ i got tired of one and gifted him to Karen. Recently that has all changed there was one boy Alex who was very special to me and we had been friends for a few years dating on and off the entire time, he was the one boy who I felt something for and I ended up loosing my virginity to him. After Alex and I ended our romance officially we stayed great friends and now her and Alex have been talking and on her next trip here she will spend all of her time with him. This broke my heart.
Alex and Karen still continue to talk n a daily basis and I’m okay with that fact. last year I took a trip to visit her after 9 months of being without her, before I left on the plane she sent me photos of all her friends and told me a little bit about each one. She had a wonderful boyfriend at the time but deep down was crazy about her close friend Ian I thought nothing of it because thats how Karen worked (and I too for that matter) one man was never enough.
The day i arrived was amazing I had my eye on one of Karen’s friends Zander and as we drove through the city to Karen’s apartment i had these ridiculous butterflies that I just couldn’t shake like I was about to have the time of a lifetime. That night she called Ian over and as he walked into her apartment i felt like I don’t even know electricity? go up and down my spine and I spent the remainder of the trip with him debating and arguing like brother and sister, while secretly praying he would feel the same way about me as I felt about him. On the last day of my trip him and i took a walk and we talked about our sexuality issues as teenagers (you know the whole “bi-curious” stage) and I told him that I once thought I was a lesbian he stopped walking and turned to me and said, “Ha, you? A lesbian, baby theres no such thing as a cute lesbian” we ended the conversation and walked home, and that was the only time I he had ever said anything to me that wasn’t meant in a brotherly way. I returned home so Happy! I was convinced that I had met the guy of my dreams but he rarely contacted me and a few months later I lost hope. Still almost every day Karen would come to me crying about how she wanted Ian so bad, if only he would acknowledge her! It got to where I thought that maybe they really should be together, I mean they were right there i was in another country for goodness sakes, they’d both be happy together and they certainly deserved each other being as they are both amazing people. Then Ian started to contact me and ask questions like “have you ever been in love?” “do you believe in soul mates?” and things of that nature until just about one week ago Karen came to me worst than ever she wanted to talk to him and ask Ian if her and him would ever work, I encouraged it because I figured if being with him would make her happy then I’d be happy.She a Asked him if he would ever see them a more than just friends and he said no and then he asked me if i had anything to do with her asking him something so out of the blue i told him the truth and said yes, that she had wanted him for a long time and that they’d be happy together and in response he said “To be honest I see myself being happy and ultimately ending up with you” It was crazy! I jumped for joy and didn’t respond for a bit and he said well… cant wait for your next visit and i said, the feeling is mutual and we ended our conversation I haven’t talked to him since (it happened about 4 days ago) But I came to the realization that Karen really cared for Ian and I knew this would be the last straw for her and we would end our friendship. The thought of this kills me! I sorry for making this thread so long but i had to stress Karen and my friendship we are like one rather than two and i cant imagine myself without her please help, this is killing me, I spend my nights in my bathtub sobbing Ian is so perfect He makes me happier than anyone. I’m taking my second trip in 3 weeks, i need advice.
Answer:
This is freaking ridiculous. Puppy love is like crack to you.
Answer:
Keep your friend. Friendship is so much more important than "tru love". Trust me, you'll be more grateful in the end if you chose a best friend over a guy that it probably won't work out with. Try and find someone she doesn't have feelings for.