I have not been out with anyone because I’m trying to heal from all the hurt and pain. However, the pain has turned into hatred. Is that wrong to feel and is their hope after Divorce??????? we were married for 11 yrs and have 3 kids.
Answer:
Me, I'm only 13. But I think that after a divorce its okay to have a feeling of hate for someone you had loved and then left you. And I'm sure that there is hope...there always is.
Answer:
There is hope after divorce and you can attain it much faster if you can put this in perspective. You are the lucky one. Would you have preferred to spend your lifetime with this kind of person? Think about it!! She actually did you a big fat favor. 11 years was long enough. Her actions say absolutely nothing about you and everything about her.
Answer:
No. I don' believe it is wrong to feel anger with a passion after a situation like that has occured. Its damaging to one's sense of self worth and causes upheavel for all those involved - both emotionally and finanacially. Sounds like she wasn't thinking responsibly if you have 3 children involved. A friend once told me that anger turned inward becomes depression ...don't let it get to that point with you. Remove yourself from the situation as much as you are able to. It really takes some time to get over it and get past it (my parents divorced after 12 years -my father found someone else.) Once you concentrate on getting past it its like taking a breath of fresh air. That kind of hatred can be unhealthy and stifling if one stays in that stage for too long. You need to take care of yourself by whatever means you have available to you. There is hope after divorce and you probably will meet someone else down the road. Get yourself involved in other activities you enjoy, take classes or a road trip somewhere fun with you kids, plan a trip abroad, or take a class in rock climbing - whatever you can to distract yourself and protect your health and that of your children. Don't bring her negative memory up to yourself or your childen - because the more you do the more you will focus on her... and she isn't worth it or what is important any longer. As with learning your brain makes connections and goes over and over them again to relive and relearn from an experience. Shut her our or block her out, focus on the positive in yourself and your future and tell yourself you deserve better!