Who knows how I feel because I sure don’t.
I feel good but I feel bad at the same time, is that even possible?
1 minute I am happy and then the next I am not.
This is strange, I haven’t felt like this before.
I feel like I am blending into the crowd, yet I feel like I am all alone..
Grrr
I don’t know how to say this, or even if I want to right now but I am embarresed to say that I can quite easily just end it all right now and that is strange as I feel ok… Does this sound wierd?
It does to me, I have been toying with a handfull of paracetamol and asperin for the last half an hour, they have gone all soft and the sugar coated ones have started to stick to the palm of my hand, eww, a gooey mess…
I have taken only 4, how lame am I…. I just don’t know any more
I don’t know anything.
Why do I even bother to type this rubbish?
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What with the stuff? Soz I've got to go urgently. take care
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sweetie i know its hard to think like this, but its the only way i know,,i don't go by what my emotions tell me to feel,otherwise i would be a basketcase,i deny those feelings and tell myself that i have no right to feel good or bad,when the good comes i think god, when the bad comes i thank god. one day above ground is better than two below.:)
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my *** is always leaner on my other hyde
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I feel like crap, I am usually so happy, and I mean really happy, I don't know where it has gone, I felt low the other day for no reason and now I just feel like that low feeling has taken away my happy, I have tried more than I have ever tried in my life to get it back, but what if it doesn't come back? What if I am back to my old depression, I con't handle that thought.... Ugh it even feels like real pain to think that depression never let me go.
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sweetie i know its hard to think like this, but its the only way i know,,i don't go by what my emotions tell me to feel,otherwise i would be a basketcase,i deny those feelings and tell myself that i have no right to feel good or bad,when the good comes i think god, when the bad comes i thank god. one day above ground is better than two below.:) wow jebus, your a genius, haha
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I feel like crap, I am usually so happy, and I mean really happy, I don't know where it has gone, I felt low the other day for no reason and now I just feel like that low feeling has taken away my happy, I have tried more than I have ever tried in my life to get it back, but what if it doesn't come back? What if I am back to my old depression, I con't handle that thought.... Ugh it even feels like real pain to think that depression never let me go. i actually feel the same right now i feel like lame and just i don't want to do anything just want to go to a fetal position and stay there til the next day idk why im am overall a happy person as well im always bouncing off the walls but right now its like ugh this horrible feeling that i don't even know where its coming from ima take a shower and hopfully that will help
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I feel guilt for doing this yet ain for not, what is stronger? Guilt or pain? Yet when your gone you are gone and who knows if guilt wil carry on, yet if you live the ther is a 50/50 chance that pain will continue... How many pils can you take beofre it is tot late?
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Sorry about the spelling, slightly not with it right now to even care.
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once i took 40 clalodapin and still lived,btw i don't think i spelled that right
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I feel guilt for doing this yet ain for not, what is stronger? Guilt or pain? Yet when your gone you are gone and who knows if guilt wil carry on, yet if you live the ther is a 50/50 chance that pain will continue... How many pils can you take beofre it is tot late? i think pain is greater because it is physical when guilt is just mental and you can always control it
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Laz ... I am sorry you are feeling low right now. Don't take anymore pills. It just isn't worth it. This feeling will leave. You have those babies to think about. Pull on your strength. You have to ride it out. Don't let it control you.
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You are a great person Laz ... you feel bad right now ... but, sweety you have so many great qualities that are admirable. I hate to hear you are feeling so bad right now. As with the above poster ... I, too, have felt depressed today. Maybe it is something we all are feeling and we just need to ride it out. I FORCED myself to go to the gym, get on the tread mill. I was crying in my bedroom all alone ready to go before I made myself get in the truck and get to the gym. I do feel better now. Honey the pills are not the answer. Go throw them away.
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If you take your life, you will leave your children with a horrible legacy and they will carry your pain and have to work through the trauma of it. Those innocent babes don't deserve it and neither do you. You help people here all the time and we need people like you here.
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Thank you Brightshine, I appriciate what you are trying to do :) I just feel in limbo, neither happy or sad, quite relaxed actually, that could be the pills, I don't know. But in reality no one I don't think would miss me here, they would say they do and maybe they would for maybe a day or so but not for long, as for me kids, well I Love them with all my heart and it does pain me to feel this way when I know I wil be leaveing them but they are young enough to not feel the full on pain as they would have done being older, I know they will be left in capeable hands, that I don't worry about. Thank you everyone.
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Girl ... I, for one, would miss you and would remember you and feel the loss. You know how I feel about you! I have survived someone I loved taking their life, I know how it hurts and I know how it hurts her children. Sure they were older, but the story gets told and it does cause difficulty for them. Please just ride this out Emily. Don't take anymore pills.
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well please don't harm yourself anymore ive had friends on medications before and some who have cut themselves don't worry just let it pass like you said most of the time you are happy so don't worry you will be happy again and you don't want to miss out on those times
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Are you okay hun? Please still be here. Don't take the pills. What's going on right now?
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Lazy..I feel in limbo too..but i guess, that was the point of that Content post I made..I see this..niether happy or sad, as a nice place to start each day.. I might sound cold when i say this, but it is about perspective..if you are always up, or always trying to stay up, then the baseline..content, will feel like down..you get me? Your feeling neutral, right..thats not a bad thing, thats just your heart and mind taking a little vacation. I am not gonna say cheer up, but i will say, dont over react. your body, heart, mind and soul, they all know what you need, and maybe it is time to be mellow and even for a while. Happy is good, sad sucks..but nothing wrong with just BEING for a while. and, Jeb IS a genius.
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Yeah, I see what you mean AKS, Thanks... Just a higher place to fall from. I feel ok today, no 100% but ok :) Thanks everyone for you kindness and advice :)
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GLAD you feel better. I feel..nice..got a nice compliment, turned my day brighter.. oh, and Lazy, your hair looks very nice today? did you loose weight? you look liek you lost weight.. and you smell nice
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hello, i hope you feel better, with all these ups and downs, it will soon turn brighter. :o)
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Aww AKS, I think that is the sweetest thing you have ever said to me :) Thank you :D
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Happy to hear you are feeling better Lazy. I really like Aks advice. I have been keeping that concept in mind today, for I am BLAHHHH! :)
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Don't try to OD. That's a stupid thing to do! I feel the same, happy one minute, down the next. But it's more like major confusion and boredom, than down.. Just think about the good things in life, and go for a long walk! I recommend a flask full of tea too! :D
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Hi, you obviously don't want to kill yourself so stop taking the pills. You could really do yourself some damage. Recommend you ring your mum.
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Molly, Miss Ellie~ Thank you both for your concern but you don't need to worry now, I am ok, I got a little stressed a little too fast, over whelmed and chose the wrong way about fixing it, like most times lol I am ok now, quite happy, although a little shocked at how fast I can drop in a second, for now though I am all smiles :) Still, thank you though :D
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Don't worry about it! :) Glad to hear you're happy again!
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i think i know how you feel. its like sometimes i hate myself and think im ugly and digusting but then sometimes im perfectly fine. ive toyed with various ideas to end my life.. i just feel like no one could ever understand how i feel.. not even me i sometimes think! i dont even have a close friend who id feel comfortable discussing this with so i feeel so isolated from everyone and like no one knows i exist.. but at the same tim like i stick out like a sore thumb. Please don't do anything stupid.. i know it feels so strange and like it'll never be better but who knows .. maybe it will, maybe it wont. Let's just stick it out a bit longer.. see where life takes us.if youve ever known anyone whos died, you'll know how loss feels. imagine how distraught the people around you would be . maybe try calling a help line.. the samaritans?? They helped me. well.. for a bit.
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I know exactly how you feel. I wish I could help.
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We all feel the same way at times one thing for sure is there is no answer in a bottle or a pill. Please don't wreck your life. Pete
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give it time and i am sure you will feel better