. ok so i just got out of high skoo last may, the summer was fun, i didnt have a girl and didnt have to worrie about to much, then i met this girl and now we r dating, she says she loves me, and i think that im in love with her, but im not sure if i really know what love is….. i want to be with her all the time, always thinking of her, tring to change my life for her, and i would do anything she wants me to, i never felt this way about a girl befor, and i want to have her in my life forever… ok here is were my life gets kinda scrwed, she cheated on me wit her ex, then she might be having a kid.. i lost my job but i can get one that would pay good and in 5 years be a pro and get payed better, i am really confused in that in under 5 weeks my life could be changed, and that i really cant controll it u know, im lost, in the dark, i think theres a light but i cant seem to get it, i need some advice from someone who has been here befor, what should i do?
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My first thought is that if she cheated on you once, would she do the same again.
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I feel like part of your answer is in your title. "my life is changin and i cant help shape it…" I think its true that we can't control the world around us, but we can ALWAYS control how we react to it. I also believe we do have the power to shape our lives. I listened to a CD about a year ago called Manifest your Destiny by Wayne Dyer. I facing some difficulty at this time and have vented about it here, but it has changed my life around. ITs like having a mixture of letting go, as well as declaring I AM manifesting...whatever it is. What you say to yourself makes a huge difference. Patience is a big part of it too. What you want to change for the better right now, may not come to you overnight, but you have to trust it is already in place for you for you to experience; it already exists and will happen for you. Your light is trust and patience and the determination to keep plugging through this period, which will pass. Here for you, peace.
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well thep, i thought that too, but im kinda a really forgiving person, thats more of a bad thing for me, i also put alot of trust in people, when she cheated on me i gave her a second chance, shes more loyal now, she call me all the time, lets me know were she is at, its kinda nice, the worst part is she thinks that i will cheat on her, and i wont, i know how it feels, thats anyoing, and i dont know if we will be toghether forever somtimes, and if she does have a kid witch would be mine.. i dont know if every thing would work out between us u know, i will work to keep our relationship, but somtimes i feel that she wont, rabbit ur right in that u cant control the world around u, but my outlook has always beeen a positive one, just this couple of weeks has been really really bad for me, no job and i might be haveing a kid, i think that it might ruin my life im only 18 and she 17, i feel like my world is fallin around me now, i hope it gets better, man if bob marley said every thing is goin to be alright then it has to lol, i will keep my chen up i guess o sorry if i misspelled anything, not the best speller lol
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I am sorry to keep you waiting. If you can realy see a future in going forward with the relationship, give it everything you have got and then a bit more. Nothing ventured nothing gained, go for it. It could be a lifetime of happiness with all it's ups and downs.
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i hope so, thanks, i will give it my all, and i hope that i can make it work, i think that peolpe now dayz r gettin devoriced because they dont want to put the effort in a relationship, expesally the bad parts u know, my grandparent got married cuz they had a kid, after like maybe a year of datin, and they still married today and they love each other, so i can do it to, i just pry that she not pregnant, and that every thing works out for the best u know
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That's the way. Just keep that possitive attitude and with lots of love it has every chance of success. Good luck to you both.
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When I was your age I cheated on the man I love. I made a mistake and he forgave me. We dated for another 5 years. Sometimes people make mistakes and you can forgive them.
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well ive been in my relationship for about 3 years now been cheated on and played for a fool its been up and down for some time now but all i really have to say is that you guys have only been together 6 mons and she cheated on you and is pregnant with the other dudes baby she must not give two ***** about you and she says she loves you yadayadayada well thats fine she must not love you enough i personally wouldnt continue on with that because now your always going to wonder were is she whos she with whats she doing and the trust you had giviin her by being with her has been broken and you will always be stressed out about if shes playing you for a fool i love my girl till deaqth i do but the truly hardest thing has been regaing trust with her but ive givin her a ****** up situation by going to jail and leaving her homeless but its in the end all up to you if you can trust thats she'll never again do that then be with her and help her to raise the child otherwise let her go and fate shall come into play over the situation feel free to ask me any questions ive been there done that and seen absolutely everything you could ever imagine -(email removed)
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o, shes not pregant with some one elses baby, it would be mine, bout a month and she has not had her period yet, she says shes over due, but she could still have it buy new years, it sucks cuz i dont know, and i wont for some time, waitin for stuff is eazy for me, but not somtin that can change my life like havein a kid, she cheated on me like i erly nov. and we have...yea, u know since she cheated on me, im over that she cheated on me u know, im givin her one more chance, if she does it agian im over it and gone.. "Sometimes people make mistakes and you can forgive them" thats right, im just worred bout this her being pregant thang, im 18 and i dont know if i can support a kid alone, plus i am a call in for a factory and i never get called in, uggh, i just hope that if she is pregant that we can keep r relationship cuz i know that we can support it together u know, it would be a ****** up 9 months, i cant leave her with a kid thats mine, i would always feel bad u know, like a deadbet i would never respect myself,
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I honor your fear over this. I have been in a similar situation with a girlfriend. It was hard waiting for that day she would say, I'm pregnant. In my situation, we weren't wanting to stay together. So I was honestly relieved she wasn't pregnant later. I'm glad you have a positive outlook, too. That will help you face this and whatever the results are. Are you both able to tell each other honestly about what you need from one another right now? about what you would need if it was a positive result? In my opinion it is so important to take the risk and say, hey, please focus on me right now, I need to tell you what I need from you, what I want to happen, and be ready for them to have their own time to tell you the same. You may not get a yes to all you need, you have to be prepared for that, too, but at least you will both understand each other. I hope you have family that could support you both and the baby if it were to happen. You might be surprised by what support you would find if you looked for it. But, I sincerely hope for both your sakes that that does not come into your life right now. I would say, too, try not to dwell too much on the what ifs and coulds right now. Try to be present best you can. Peace
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thanks, my fam mainly my dad would probly kick me out, i have a cuz that would help me but he has 2 kids himself, i always look for the good, if she is pregnatthen i will be ther, she told me sh ewould keep it if she is, i just scared that she might cheat on me later on down the road, she says she wont, but she said that befor, but i have to trust her, and hope taht she never hurts me, this has really effected r relationship, and i hope that she is not pregnat, and that we will be together for a long time, i should tell her how i feel, i just dont want her gettin mad at me, whne i try to talk about how i felt when she cheated on mne she gets mad, and says she wants me to move on, i have but i feel like we did not talk much about it u know
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Maybe you could say first hand, i'm not mad at you anymore, i'm not wanting to talk about it the same way, I need you to not feel like I'm accusing you or punishing you to want to talk about it and our future together. Has she said she's honestly sorry? You could even say, I don't want you to feel like you have to feel sorry over and over. After all, a person should only be punished once for a mistake. A mistake like this hurts, and to be honest, in my opinion, she needs to understand trust is something earned, and may not heal just like that, so maybe its not realistic for her to think you can just "move on." Give her great appreciation for what you described as being kinda nice, how she communicates better to you what she's up to as well. Sorry, I try to be succint and not type too much, but, I'm a rambler!
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she does not like to fight with me or work things out, i have to make her listen to me sometimes, it feels like when we fight i want to sort it out but she wants to put it behind her, the last thing i want is to have a kid and end up not good with her and not to be a family, to be split up, if i have a kid i wana be a big part of its life u know
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And you have a right to be part of that kids life if it were to happen. No doubt about it. I'm sorry to hear she is difficult to work things out with. Maybe she feels cornered when you want to sort it out. Gets defensive. There is got to be a way for you to speak directly to that. Be patient, gentle, try not to be too direct, maybe use, us and we need, or i would really like it if you would hear me out, if you would understand I am not attacking you, etc. It can be hard with someone who gets like that. Would she be willing to go to a one time counselor/mediator to help you both get your points across?
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lol probly not, maybe if i talk her in to it, well tomarrow i have the house to myself and she work in the morning so she goin to come over and maybe stay over night, i wil talk to her and find out that we r on the same page, im just scared that if she has a kid then it might kill r relationship, i dont want that to happen, r ther free counselors? im broke and she is to, also that scares me taht we would never have money or life because we would be workin to support a kid, i know that every think will work out, just the time leading to then u know will be really hard
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Sure, it could be hard. Be aware of what you are putting out there. What you are saying to us and yourself does have power. Stop saying it could "kill r relationship". Your putting that out there man. Its all fear. Of course, your going to have concerns, but replace them with, our relationship WILL survive the best way for both of us, instead of it will be killed. And yes, if you call around there are free counselors with certain agencies. One place is if either one of you goes to a school or college they definitley have free counseling available there. Also, check this out, and you don't have to be jewish to utilize it. They say sliding fee, based on your income, but I thought for sure they would have or know where to get free counseling. And hey, you know what, maybe do it for yourself if she won't, becuase theres nothing wrong with checking in with the experts once and awhile, its not like you have to feel like you'll be going forever!: Jewish Family and Community Services is best known for its quality mental health services. A staff of caring, qualified professionals work with individuals, couples, families and children. Services include pre-marital counseling, custody home studies, grief counseling and family counseling. Confidentiality is always guaranteed. JFCS provides services on a sliding fee scale. Medicaid, Medicare insurance plans are accepted. Not sure what kind of counseling would be right for you? Just give us a call at 904.448.1933
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yea....things will work out for the best