but then again, what families aren’t broken now a days? anyway, My mom’s lawyer wrote up the temporary visitation… i don’t go by it because i am too old for it to affect me, but i’m not in college yet so the stuff hits me head on. My dad comes downstairs saying
“F it, if your mom wants to keep the girls, she can have them. Everyone just bends over backwards for your mom. If i’d have done any of the stuff that she’s done, i’d be in jail. So just F it.” he goes on and on about not fighting with her for my sisters…. so first, what should i say to him?
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Are you sure he isn't just blowing off steam? Does he really mean it. I think you could approach him saying how you feel about it.
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Yup - this is certainly not an unusual situation :) Rough, but not unusual. I'm not expert, but here are my thoughts - Well, the first question is whether you think it's better for your sister's to spend more time with him - maybe they'd actually be happiest with the situation set up by your mom's lawyer. If you think it should be different, then you should probably talk to your mom and your dad about it. But I think talking to your mom is actually the key. You might argue that you want to be with them more, and you'll be in x location y of the time.
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Wait until he is in just the right mood to speak to him. No one really listens when they are really upset. Tell him exactly how you feel about the situation. Divorce is a very stressful for everyone involved. My state has mandatory parenting classes for parents of minor children who are divorcing. I think the entire family should have counseling to help each of you through it, but if thats not available the most important thing is open communication.
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Disclaimer: InfoPRO Posts should only be view as “Entertainment” or “Opinions” but NOT Professional Help. IF you need Professional Help, please refer to your White Pages for Referral Agencies in your area. You have the option to take my suggestions under consideration or ignore them out right. With that being said, personal attacks aren’t necessary. I’m here to help you! Ask questions if my Posts miss the mark. ************************************************************************** ******** Share with your Dad that he has to fight for the girls so that when it's all said and done, in the wee hours of the morning, when he can't sleep, at least he can say to himself, he had done all he can to fight for his girls and could do nothing more........... He will have peace......... However, if he doesn't fight.....he will be tormented in his soul forever! Most Humbly, InfoPRO "WE learn from History that we do not learn from History" -Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel 1770-1831
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sad... but he really has to think of the girls... not how he is feeling... i have been fighting for my kids for 3 years now... and let me tell you.. i have been in a hole about 50 feet high and every time i get about a foot from the top... i get knocked back down to the bottom... it is very hard and emotional for me.. but then i start thinking about my kids.. and what they must be feeling.. so again.. i start my climb back to the top.. no matter how many times i fall... i just fight harder to get to that top.... what im saying is.. your father needs to seriously think of those girls... not what he is feeling or how hard this fight seems to be... the girls feelings are more important than his are at this point... and once his fight is over.. he will see that it was all worth it... trust me.. i know how he feels when he is thinking or feeling that the other parent has so many rights and it doesnt seem fair... read my story... www.myspace.com/missing_my_children and you will understand.. if he needs someone to talk too.. give him my msn messenger and tell him i will be gladly to chat to him... and help him through this... who knows.. maybe we can help each other.... my name on it is lil_bit_shie @ hotmail . com but you have to put them together because it wont allow me to put it here with out the spaces...
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thanks guys, for all that you have posted... but, of course, to a divorce there is always more... so here is what i left out in the heat of the moment when i was upset... With the visitation, my mom's lawyer illegally put it through to the judge. and the visitation SAYS that we have to be with him at 2:00PM on Christmas Day... we are driving 7 hours to florida, and My mom wants him to meet us halfway between here and there, in Warner Robins... that is 3 hours away... and my mom isn't even trying to follow the ruls that she and her lawyer put down... it is so stupid!!! >:( so... that is what i left out... im still accepting advice!! :)
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your father needs to do as the order says... if your mother is going to violate what the order says.. then its up to your father to go to family court and file papers of violation against her!!! one too many of these violations and trust me.. the judge wont be very happy with her...
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well, i mean she has already lied in court about various things... and the guardian ad litem just saw my older younger sister and i just the other day... but still, i mean all of the family counceling that we were supposed to have, we didn't ... or i wasn't in on it. If it had already been it was probably at the hospital that my sister was in for suicudal depression... and i couldn't go... GOD! and i have to spend all christmas with her and her stupid ignorant rich family!! :(
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can i ask how old you are? if you read my story.. i understand everything that you are saying.. totally.. but as i said.. all your father has to do is keep violating her... violate her on every thing she does that is against the court order... i dont care how simple of a violation it is.. he needs to file papers.. this will make the judge see what your father truely is dealing with...
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i'm 17 to be honest, but i cannot read your myspace because my mom's comp won't load it... if maybe you had another link??? if that isn't too much? I'll mention that to him next time i talk to him, thanks for that idea
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umm.. hold on.. one second.. ill get something for ya..
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post/99416-please-help-me
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click on that...
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wow. that is horrible. i'm sure that you have heard this about a million times, but sorry. i would say that i would pray for you, but i have come to the same realization that you have: he either doesn't exist, or the suffering was placed for some unknown reason... so... i shall practice meditation for you... for all of the most unrealistically helping thing as that sounds, and for being new to buddhism, i will meditate so that you may find peace with the court and that they will do what is right.... im sure you have heard that too, just with "prayer" instead of "meditate" :D heh heh
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no.. its ok.. trust me... anything that i can help with to help your dad and you kids... i want to help... that is why.. violating your mother on any and all will help your father... and if he needs to talk.. im here... as well for you too...
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what bothers me in both cases is this... the people not thinking of the children and their feelings!! that is the most important here....
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EXACTLY!!!! RAH!!! FOR THE CHILDREN!!! :) but thanks. i would Email you, but with mom's comp i cant even get on yahoo..... do you happen to have YIM? i can get on that
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yahoo messenger.. yes i do... dont use it very often... lil_bit_shie is my name on it... you can add me.. if you need to chat or talk.. im on here all the time... ill add you as a friend.. just find me and let me know you need to talk.. and i will turn it on for you... i hope that you have a very merry christmas.. and have fun with your dad... also.. write down my yahoo and msn messenger for your dad if he wants to talk... ill try to help with what information i know about... msn messenger... lil_bit_shie @ hotmail . com .
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my msn messenger is always on..
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thankyou thankyou :) i'll add you onto my YIM right now, but you don't have to get on, i was just wondering... it is always nice to know that there is someone out there that knows what, or some of what one is going through..
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i have to say... almost all of my comments are only told on the posts that i have actually lived through... you name it.. ive lived it... abuse, being mistreated by my parents, molestation, being cheated on... kids... lol.. i have lots of advise... but you will usually only see me on posts that i know from expierence... because i feel that i can shed a little light on what is going to come.... because i have already lived it... so i wish you luck... and yes... it is awesome when someone comments and knows exactly what you are talking about... because then you know that you are not alone.... ~great big cyber hug~.. well hun.. im actually going to be heading off to bed... its almost 2 am here... but as i said.. i am always on and off from here through out the day.. as i cant work due to a tumor on my spine... ill talk to you tomorrow.. and becareful on how you communicate to your dad.. because over the computer, your mother could have keylog... or on the phone.. she could be near by listening...
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true, *Cyber Hugs back!!!!!* but my mom has NO comp skillz :3 it is 2AM here too, so, good night to you
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ok hun... lol... as for your mom and no computer skills... good.. hehehehehehe.... but yeah.. ill talk to you tomorrow hun... sweet dreams and know that im here for ya...