woohoo!!! I think I’m on the mend, I went to the supermarket… ok I left it ’til gone 11pm but it was still really busy with everyone getting ready for xmas and in order to go out I had to have a shower.. that was a shock to the system but I’m no longer smelly!! The supermarket was daunting and I felt like a little mouse and it made me realise I have lost my backbone and have a way to go yet, but, I’m really pleased with myself and just wanted to share it with someone :)
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CONGRATULATIONS!
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awsome !!!! did you talk to anybody?
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Lol, that would be a no.. I did say hello to the cashier though, oh and "no thankyou" when she asked if I needed help with my packing!! Lol, baby steps hey!!
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so, what u gono do now?
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I dont know
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:) Awesome! I'm backward around people, I kind of just glance around. Supermarkets are the most amazing places, I suggest going again! :) Do you ever just watch the people and see what they're doing? Hear the conversations on cellphones or between people as you pass. It's so interesting, so many emotions housed in one small area at any time, it makes the world seem so hard and easy to understand at the same time. Hard that you don't know all of the situation, easy that you know it's all for you to explore. :) Good luck on your exploration!
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I know what you mean, I like to people watch but if I'm honest I was concentrating on not bumping trolleys with folk and trying to remember what I needed.. I must have done the same aisles about three times, how they never stopped me on suspicion of shoplifting I'll never know, I must have looked well dodgy, lol!!
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Oh, I get that all of the time! You should see how awkward I am. I live North of Pittsburgh in a town called Dode, and it's very low populated, but they stuck a wal-mart in a few miles away from our home. School is right in the middle, and I used to walk to school, come home and walk to wal-mart and people were so strange to look at me with my backpack on. I'm awkward, I buy fashion magazines even though I'm a guy, and I get the strangest looks from the sales people anymore if the automatic checkouts aren't open. The important thing is to just be yourself, you know the thing of just pretending you're naked. :D
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Good on you, you're so positive... thanks for sharing it :)
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:) Anytime! I hope your trips to the store go better. The shoppers are so awkward, wait until black Friday shopping at times, that's the worst! It's like flys on flypaper.
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yay...... CONGRATULATIONS... im proud of you.... now.. keep in mind that it didnt hurt you to get out.... that you actually enjoyed the expierence.... maybe it will help you get through any and all other outings....
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I just want to get back to work and some resemblance of a normal life, sorry Lil.. it's nothing compared to what you're going through this xmas, I'm just not good at not coping and get frustrated with myself when I'm like this... my friend told me that when I get like this, it's like someone took my sparkle away and that's exactly how it feels... hopefully I'm getting closer to finding it again!!
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as for me... im dealing... day by day... but for you.. being able to strive just to live in our world.. has got to be hard... i hope you too find your sparkle... have you been diagnosed with anything?? depression? ocd?
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I've always just "coped" really; If you can call it that, lol... but on anti-depressants now, as started affecting my work and friends were getting concerned about me.. I was getting concerned about me too :) Big cyber hug to you Lil, stay strong, you're amazing !!
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thank you... cyber hug back to you... i have to say.. i too suffer from depression.. and have been on medication for about 5 or 6 years now... i was to the point that if someone smiled at me wrong... i cried like a toddler having a temper tantrum... burnt toast one day.. and it affected my entire day... but with my meds... it makes living life easier... it doesnt take away my issues.. but it does give me the nerve to deal... so i wish you luck hun.... as for amazing... well.. i personally wouldnt say that... but thanks... i am me... something that i have had to learn and have actually taken it for the best in these past few years.... merry christmas hun..