I had sex last night with a guy friend, and I hadnt had sex in 2 years. I actually planned to become celibate, because I have never really liked sex. I always think maybe its because of me being raped at the beginning of my teenage years….but I dont know..people like sex right? or is it just me…I would actually like to change this, if it is changeable…and please no comments like “well your just not getting it good” comments like those will be greatly ignored.
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Hey, sorry to hear about that awful experience. i think it may have a lot to do with why you hate it. also...you have to realise...sex isnt just sex. it doesnt just happen. its got to be loving and sensual. there should be a build up where you become intimate and close. and when your having sex you should be doing things that you BOTH like. its not about pleasing one of you its about pleasing BOTH of you! keep communicating with each other, throughout is good. but it is also a good idea if you can talk to each other about it before hand. talk about what makes you feel awkward, what you like. what you'd like to try. but most of all, because of your past experiences...make sure your only going with someone you trust completely. because you need to feel happy with everything.
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YES Kristen for the 10,000th time it IS because you were assaulted when you were younger. You have all sorts of crazy emotions resulting from that experience, and many of them are going to surround intimacy. I know it's really important to feel loved and cared for, but having semi-random sex with a guy friend is *NOT* the way to help you get over this. You need to talk to a real therapist and you need to have sex only in the context of a committed, loving relationship. I assure you that it will be very different that way and you'll kick yourself for settling for anything less.
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its not me!!!
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Sorry, Sorry! It certainly *could* have been you though and so the same logic still applies. Whoever this is needs to talk about it and create a safe, healthy relationship before physical intimacy is going to work.
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Did you seek treatment for the rape? Sometimes that can help. If you did, then answer me this...do you enjoy kissing? making out? at what point do you stop enjoying yourself? This is something you can examine within a respectful, close relationship. Best wishes