I just lay here and cry,
As I lay here I try to wonder why.
How can you sit there knowing that you broke my heart?
Making my whole world fall apart.
What did I do to you?
I haven’t got a clue.
You said that you were different,
But now I know that it was just a figment.
Now all you do is make fun of me and all the things we used to do,
Answer:
It tells it like it is, like a statement of the facts. This sets down exactly what has happened but doesn't explain how it has affected you. A lot of poetry that people really like is not so easily interpretable, because the poet uses metaphors to try and wring out their feelings Everyone's world falls apart when their heart is broken, but how does that feel? Like being ran down by a car who then repeatedly backs over you? I would say don't concentrate so much on making everything rhyme. Take just one line and describe it. Describe what you are looking at when you are crying, how your tears feel, taste, come from the internal to the external. Stuff like that.
Answer:
Thank you...I will think about that when I edit it....
Answer:
its nice but you know that not all poems have to rhym. i mean i write poetry and unlike you i don't have the guts to let anyone read them. but i have a friend that read a few and she said they were kind of ok. but i really think its nice.
Answer:
Yeah, definitley well done for sharing it with us.