He lives 12 minutes from me, and we are both in our 40’s. If I wait for him to apologize, I will die first, before hearing those words. I always end up apologizing first, because he never thinks that he is wrong.
I said things I should not have said. I thought I had “eternally” forgiven him, you know? “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”
Anyways, I just had gum surgery, and I had a little local anesthetic. I want him to go to the doctor and dentist, which he hasn’t done for several years. He threw some stuff in my face, and then I threw more back.
This is it. And Thankisgiving is next week.
Maybe we just don’t think the same like when we were kids.
That’s it.
Me
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you guys are bro and sis you will work it out. maybe just talk and next time take a breather b4 getting mad.
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Do you want advice on how to deal with this, or on how this started/works out? Or did you just need to get it off your chest?
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Yeah, calling him is a pretty good idea, I guess. I guess I get tired of always being the first one to "mend the fence." And Thanksgiving is next week. Giving thanks. I guess, when I get in a good frame of mind, I become vulnerable again, and then when I get hurt, I'm mad at myself for becoming vulnerable. Me
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It's okay to stay mad sometimes. Just make sure stying mad doesn't cost more energy than being the first to mend the fence again. Being vulnerable can be a good thing, but you have to decide in front to whom you want to be vulnerable: it might be that you love and like your family, but opening up completely to them is not in anyones interest. If it serves no purpose for them and it costs enormous amounts of energy for you, all of you might be better off pretending than being open. Or having an open fight for a while instead of mending things right away.
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Good replies. BTW, how old are you guys? I am 47, will be 48 next spring. I guess my good judgement has seemed to have left me for now. This sore gum sure doesn't help. About vulnerability, it just happens with me. I disclose too much of myself, and often get burned by it. It's just who I am. However, as I've gotten older, I find myself more bitter by life's experiences. Oh well! Me
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Soul, I just read your post about "debating with myself whether to make this post of not." I so hear you on that one! I have lots of emotional issues I deal with on a daily basis, and I feel the "swing" to a depression coming, too. I am leaving a part-time job I've had for 2 years. It's just consumed me! I also have a daughter who is in Africa, as a foreign exchange student. She left the end of July, and gets back in one month. Ahh, emotions!! Take care! Me
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I am only 27, but I understand what you mean. I don't have fights with my siblings, but being the youngest of 7 (2 brothers, 4 sisters, one of which has passed away a few years ago) means I get advice I don't always want. Sometimes, when I am emotionally tired, I avoid a family meeting where more than one of my sisters will be, because they are just way too dominantly present. They mean well, but it usually ends up being a heated discussion about what I really should have done between two sisters that disagree, with one 'supporting' me and the other also 'supporting' me, although none of them took the time to listen long enough to know what I did and why...
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You talk much more mature than I would expect from someone your age!! Are you m or f? Me
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Female.