The weird thing is I am not even mad. I am just hurt and numb. I want to be mad at him but I just can’t do it! Is this normal. Is it similar to the stages in the grieving process? I want this dead / numb feeling to be gone and I want to feel something. Does anyone know what I am talking about?
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that's pretty crazy. divorce him and DO NOT involve the kids, if there are any.
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get counseling or something. unless he likes that girl more than you. in that case, you're too good for him, and he deserves to be left.
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Oh my dear. Yes it is not abnormal to feel numb. Being numb is a protective mechanism from the very powerful feelings that are beneath the numbness. I personally have never felt this way. But my best friend has. She told me that her therapist told her of clients who were so numb they did not have sensation in their hands and would place them on the stove burner just to FEEL. ugh ... Dear, it is a very traumatic experience you are having. Definately, get a therapist/counselor to help you. Would you like to talk right now?
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you're just numb because you are still in shock, it'll take some time but you will start feeling again and by then you might want to be numb once more though
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In your case, you are probably in shock right now. This is why you don't feel mad, but you ARE hurting and soon that will turn to anger. Yeah, spjon12 & Ifeelso are right. You should leave him. Chances are he will keep living like that, even if he says he's sorry. He has been unfaithful to you and has slept with another woman. You need to leave before you get hurt some more. I know it will be difficult. Its like . . . all those years seem like a waste now. I'm so sorry you've had to experience this. My mom went thru the same thing when I was a young teen. He was my stepdad, but still . . . it hurt my mom terribly. They weren't together for 15 yrs but I know that she was still very hurt and it takes a long time to heal. My mom married later to a man who was younger than her and they were married 10 yrs until August of 2007 when he died of a heart attack. Now my mom is all alone again. But she is managing okay.
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It doesn't matter how he feels you need to leave....NOW your stronger than this And yes I know the feeling of being numb and not feeling It'll come out....let it BEST OF LUCK
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Thanks to all. Just knowing I am not alone makes me feel better. Note to Brightshine - My hands are completely numb. Thanks for that info. It made me feel better.
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You did not ask for advice on whether you should leave him or not. Relationships are not black and white. After 15 years, I am pretty sure you know this. The time with him has not been a waste, no time is a waste. Life is an experience, an adventure. You may never feel angry. You may or you may not. Hurt is REAL. Anger comes when we do not acknowledge out pain. You certainly need to decide what is best for you and if you have children what is best for them as well. You have been deeply betrayed. But you can get through this with dignity and grace. Be strong.
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Thanks Brightshine. You really made a difference to me today. It is amazing what a kind word will do. I am new at this. I added you as a friend but I am not sure that means anything. Thanks again.
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My priviledge. I understand Nowimo. Thanks for the thanks. lol :)
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first step, LEAVE HIM. secondly, ur prob feeling like this because u don;t feel love and wanted. u have been betrayed by some1 who love, it's a perfecetly normal reaction. whaty this guy did was wrong. this 15 year oldisn;t in a good position herself. u r in the best position of out all 3 of you.
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soz, i mean woman. lol.
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As others here already mentioned, you are in a shock and maybe you find it hard to process that he did this to you for 15 years. I don't know if you have kids. if you have a job and if you can move on independently if you would leave him. Do think about all this before you take action. Raising kids is a lot of responsibility and also can be very expensive. There are woman who choose not to tell their husbands that they know he is cheating as there are other things in life (for example kids and a good running household) than a guy in your marriage who is faithful. I know it sounds very cold but that is how life sometimes can be. If you are able to live financially independent from him then i suggest you consider leaving him. As a person who broke your trust for 15 yrs will never be able to repair it. Maybe if you leave him you could meet another man. But be aware, if you can't make it on your own then simply stay in the relationship and try to get strong and independent and THEN leave him IF you feel he will never change! I don't know you, but you are a woman and your heart must be bleeding although you don't feel it. That is why we are here to listen to you if you feel like talking. Take care and always keep loving yourself as you are the best!
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it sounds to me that you are in shock.. meaning that the news hasnt fully hit you as of yet.. has he been upfront and honest with you?? i hope that you have taken this and learned that he has no respect for you... as i always say... LOVE DOES NOT HURT... you need to kick him to the curb like the trash that he is... lots of hugs hun..
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As others here already mentioned, you are in a shock and maybe you find it hard to process that he did this to you for 15 years. I don't know if you have kids. if you have a job and if you can move on independently if you would leave him. Do think about all this before you take action. Raising kids is a lot of responsibility and also can be very expensive. There are woman who choose not to tell their husbands that they know he is cheating as there are other things in life (for example kids and a good running household) than a guy in your marriage who is faithful. I know it sounds very cold but that is how life sometimes can be. If you are able to live financially independent from him then i suggest you consider leaving him. As a person who broke your trust for 15 yrs will never be able to repair it. Maybe if you leave him you could meet another man. But be aware, if you can't make it on your own then simply stay in the relationship and try to get strong and independent and THEN leave him IF you feel he will never change! I don't know you, but you are a woman and your heart must be bleeding although you don't feel it. That is why we are here to listen to you if you feel like talking. Take care and always keep loving yourself as you are the best! Good advice. Thanks so much.