I am starting to become so lonley, so full of emptyness and lacking any real purpose other than to drag my family down with me. I just don’t know what to do. For the last oh, seven years, Its felt like all my dreams are shutting in on me, I feel trapped in a banal existance. I feel like I am beautiful and can go out and change the world, but always lack the courage to do so. I feel like I could make someone very happy if they knew me, but don’t know how to make a friend anymore. I think I am becomming quite mentally ill, some of the thoughts I have chosen not to share here are very frightening. I am not saying I am sucidal, but I wouldent say that I exactly have “the will to live” anymore. Can someone help me?
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What has been going onb the last 7 years that has shut you out from the world?
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It is really hard to explain. I know part of it is a Faith Crisis. I just don't know if I can believe in God anymore when I look at the world, and the representatives of "God" of late. That was probably the beginning. Lack of faith in God started to become lack of Faith in the American Way, then Lack of Faith in myself, things just collapsed like a slow game of dominoes. I used to be so full of desire to help the world, now I just don't think I have anything to offer.
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thats because the battle is gods not ours if you believe in th bible it says things must get worse first .trying to solve this worlds problems will bring you down its impossible then thers all these fake christians saying their doing gods work while killing each other step back man the way of christ is the way of the sufferer reward is at the end not now beware false prophets that will even decieve the very elect stay calm be still know that i am coming thats the message cast your burden give christ the glory
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Well sure you can not help anyone in your state. It does not mean that you can not help people eventually. You need to concentrate on bettering yourself. Your going after things you can not chase. You have to prepare and continue to learn. You have to keep a positive attitude. Your attitude plays a big role on your success. You need tosupress your depression with happiness. There is no other way. You can not have faith unless that faith runs through yourself. Believe in yourself and things will come your way. You will find what bring joys to you in life. You have much to offer. You just have to remember that not everyone offers the same. NBever look to what others do and compare yourself. You can only helpwithin the limits of your abilities. Thy arent really limits but ways in which other people can help. Love yourself and smile today.
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make the difference in your own life first
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Kind words, but I don't know that they are what will get me out of this rut. My anxiety looking at a darkening world made me withdraw, and now I have almost no friends. I am getting very lonley, and I coulden't have retreated at a worse time. My life started popping up with all of these personal finance crises, and I just went belly up. No one was around anymore to say "the worst is over" or "you are going to make it" I just succumbed to it. Thanks to some very great parents, I survived, but they are out of touch with the kind of depression that is sinking into me, and don't know how to help me. At the core, I am lonley. I don't have a muse. I don't have anyone to tell me that the battle is won.
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It didn't start that way. It became that way after I retreated from my social life. Now that it's gone I have no idea how to get a new one. I think that is my first need right now, then I might start getting my passion back. I could be wrong though. I need a doctor I think, but I dont have any insurance or money. I don't know, I must sound like a raving idiot right now....
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Akithma, the faith crisis started because of some pretty awful Christian leaders I was beholden to in my local area. Dosen't seem that it stops there. There is a huge surge of hatred in the modern Christian community, and last time I read the Bible, I got a message of undying love out of it. I dont see how so many people can irrationally hate in the name of love. I just don't understand.
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Hey if someone knew the answers wouldnt that be great. But nobody knows what is ahead. Even after years we discover new things about ourselves. Financial problems are just a factor because they cause stress. Do not let it get to you. There is no dark you can shine through if you focus that light within you to solely guide you through it. If you never try to shine through you'll be sitting in the dark. Like I tell ppl all the time. Christians are supposed to create a sole relationship with the Lord and nobody can show you how to do that. You have the Bible and your prayers. Utilize them. Never ask or go looking for something you think the Lord is supposed to give you. Those thing will be infused within your life without notice. Thank God everyday for that.
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There is no dark you can not*** shine through if you focus that light within you to solely guide you through it. correction
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many are lead easily astray thats true broad is the way to destruction , narrow is the path to the lord or something like that we must keep vigale on guard standing with breastplate of righteousness having faith in the lord that he is guiding our steps
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Guitar, you rock, man. I'm not sure what else to say right now, but know that you rock.
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continual prayer carrying our shield of faith believing with all our mind strength and body
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Allright, here is an intellegent response to what you said Guitar, "You rock" dosent have much power behind it :P Whenever I tried to discover it for myself, I would over analyze and run into continuity problems. Some people think too analytically (me) to discover their own religion, im not saying im "too smart" for God, what I am saying is I get a little too obsessive when I read, I know my own thoughts are not divinley inspired because they are so confused.
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Its ok, i do not need any praise for that which the Lord did by speaking through me. I have been up for hours. God had a purpose for that. TY Lord.
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amen to that
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Akithma, I know the set of verses you refer to, and when I was a kid they held alot of power for me. Ive had this kind of romantacised view of the world since i was a kid, and reference to the trappings of midevial warfare got me going. "The sword of the word of God" oh yeah. The problem is, it just dosen't have that impact on me anymore. My brain has repulsed so much from some of the hateful rhetoric ive heard recently, its started to say "the bible was written by everyday guys, its just superstition" Its not that I don't know the word, its that I just can't believe in it the way I used to.
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Still there are some verses that really get to me, bring tears to my eyes. When Jesus said "let him without sin cast the first stone." I wish i would hear someone on CNN late night say that when referring to God sometime....
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Well the Bible is not an exact map of your life. Everything in it is for you to go into and reference. So you can get into the rythm of what God wants you to do. So that in due time you do not even ask what would God have me do. You will know how to do your job. That is when his gifts come into play. That is where your uniqueness is shown.
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I think understand what you are going through... You're not mentally ill... self destruction is what we turn to when fight or flight are not options... we either fight our demons or run from them... but if you don't know what you're fighting or running from then what do we do... we turn on ourselves... I done it and I do it... What's my answer to your problem... I don't think you have a problem... you're human... hello fellow human... do stuff... be happy and don't be happy... feel good and feel bad... do what a child would do... scream rant demand laugh play or do nothing... make a sock puppet and tell it your problems... believe me it sounds crazy but the answers will come from you... not me or anybody else... it's like when a lover doesn't love you anymore... they don't love you but you can't believe it so you think they still must love you... so we go crazy trying to get them back etc... for what... they don't love you anymore... self belief is all you need... and that doesn't mean you have to smile and be full of joy all the time... if I met you I might not like you and you might not like me... it don't matter... gods don't solve problems... and the thing about problems is that we actually like them... when nothing is going on...make a problem... it's easy and distracts the hell out us... a good excuse is a good excuse... how to meet people?... I've no idea... not even sure how i met the people I know... it just happens... do stuff... then do more stuff...
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<3 grabmystuf im pretty sure I would like you in the real world.
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then you should pray the the lord fills you with spirit again praying keeps you energised its probably cause you stopped reading it it you faith in weak it is our bread and the lord says to eat of it daily
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Ive read the bible from cover to cover, mate. I used to be quite into it, actually.
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we all share these veiws we all feel the same the only difference is our faith i for one wont let lack of someones faith take mine
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I'm not trying to take your faith away, I just dont feel it anymore. I am thankful that you believe so strongly and that it fills you with so much Joy.
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Grab, my response to you kind of never appeared, so here goes. I reaally appriciate what you said, and I like the way you think. :)
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ive read it many times but i still need to read even now i often read psalms when im down it good to lift you back up because it was written mostly by king david who went thru heaps
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i would like to critique you akithma. i think if your going to use the Bible you should quote it along with the book, chapter, and verse. you may be writing it wrong and may be giving the wrong message
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i disagree that the Bible should be used a a form of therapy because that is not what it was meant for. It totally nullifies its purpose.
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Yeah he did. A biblical hero, King David was. Jesus really gets me. The verses of the Bible that still hit me like a brick are the ones in the gospels. The first stone. That is such an awesome and powerful message, simple and means infinite things. Even a total athiest can understand the wisdom of that one. If I could tell people like the Westboro Baptist Church one thing, I think it would be "let he who has no sin cast the first stone."
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It comforts you at first but that should carry on. You should not to go back in to lift yourself.Unless that is you are struggling. In which you yourself struggle with faith.Not as much as most but still you struggle.
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sorry my net link keeps dropping i agree though guitar about ref but the word is on his heart now
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I appriciate what you are trying to do Akithma, but I think my mental state has to improve before I can really get burned up about God. Despair has taken faith away from me, so through the release of despair must be the path to reawaken it.
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we all for short of the glory of the lord indeed i suffer every day but thats what makes it worth it in the end
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fall short sorry its late here my eyes are struggling in a dark room
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Grab, my response to you kind of never appeared, so here goes.I reaally appriciate what you said, and I like the way you think. :) Thinking is something I try do very little of... gets in the way of dinner... as for let he who is without sin cast the first stone... well maybe that was what jesus would say before he cast the the stone... the first stone... maybe they were all waiting for him to throw it and he dropped it... wow the guy without sin dropped the stone... he didn't cast it so we won't... he took control... thus taking the heat out of the situation... just another way of looking at things... sometimes we believe what we believe for years then one day we realize we dont believe it... ok now i'm going to hell...
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you win dude.
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anyway i cant offer you nothing but my prayers so goodbye and goodluck the shepard will still be watching
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lol
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oh i meant the you win dude to grab. i love this guys sense of humor :)
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guitar maybe you should call youself harp in my heart you know ten strings just a thought god bless
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i think we have similar feelings. I just don't want to face the world anymore, have lost my passion, love for the world(well, it started a while ago) I have been here before too-just not for a while. Am in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere..a job that really sucks(have called in sick today)..i just want to run away from it all, but cannot see a way out/anywhere to turn.. money problems and no courage/energy left to confront these issues. Feel lonely/misunderstood and really frightened of my situation. As i said I've been here before, and found previously that things DO change, but when you least need/expect them too..so you just have to "hang on". I would never have the courage to end it(I know how much it would hurt my family)but really want to just disappear. I tried this morniong to just hide under the sheets, hoping when i eventually got up, it would al be rosy,..but as i said before, have been here before, tried that before and it just doesn't work.. just "keep your chin up"as we (annoyingly)say to each other over here..
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Thanks, I know what you mean by hiding in the sheets and hoping it all just changes. I keep hoping a stranger walks up behind me, and shes really pretty and has a really good singing voice and she just says "Its going to be okay now." seems horribly random, but Yeah, I think we are on the same vibe.
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at least it's good to know neither of us are alone..no matter what you look like/where you're from, blah blah you have a muse/confidant/friend. I know what you're saying, can't and won't pretend to know the answer(there isn't one). This girl that you're waiting for however, who'll tell you everything is alright may not exist right now- just pretend i'm her : )even though i'm a half scots brit. Just to find this site and your comment has already lifted me today..and i'm not going to tel you that God will heal you, because it just ain't true. You do have to find the way yourself. Don't try or expect to help anyone else at the moment, cruel though it may be, you have to be selfish..
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even though you are half scots brit? why would that matter? :P Just say "its going to be okay now!" do it! *poke* Anyway, I am glad that I somehow lifted you up in some way, I don't know what I could have said to do it, but I am glad for it.
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and hold on to the FACT that things do change..it's just hard to accept when you're at your lowest point. It's NOT the end of the world and something will happen/is just around the corner. It doesn't matter about me being anything/creed/etc, that was just my poor attempt at "humour"lol IT'S GOING TO BE OK! believe me, I've been lower than this before and it comes when you least expect/need it ...just hold on
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Just hold on. :) Okay, if you promise to hold on, I'll do my best. Deal?
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the fact that you are saying just how i feel today- i just got up, typed"help"into google and i find that someone on the other side of the pond has my exact(it appears)same feelings. There are good things in this world, and this site(first time i visited it)and other people can be too.. deal, mate..do you not feel a tad better, too? We should go to the nearest pub, drink and cry into each other's beer..or maybe not.. it'll work out..things(POSITIVE) things do happen sounds horribly cliche, but "everythin's gonna be alright" : )
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Beer you say? This better not be wimpy American carbinated yellow pislner "beer" you refer too... Course, your from 'cross the pond. You mean true, honest ALE, right? :P
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oddly enough I was looking at the lack of response I was getting from someone I thought I had made a good friend with, I had put so much stock into this friendship, the only one I had made in about seven years (im a freaking wierdo of late...) and just felt crushed. It has gotten to the point that they obviously don't want to be my friend anymore. I felt like the good things in my life just weren't there anymore and in desperation googled "help me"
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Ale, ha ha is digusting. guinness is great though.. I did just that, googled "help"about half an hour ago.. I really like what "grabmystuff"says too,..humans are what they are..friends too. He/She and you too have helped me beyondbelief, i wish i'd found this site before. You aren't a weirdo, but it is strange to think that if i bumped into you on the street, i would never bring up such issues with a total stranger..i feel like you're a friend already, and i am a total stranger-just think how many millions more feel like we do, yet never have the courage/opportunity to express their fears/feelings..It's human nature to feel (good and bad)things. you're not alone and the world really isn't that bad
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I know what your saying, Ego. People can be these shining beacons of light, Like heroes in fairy tales sometimes. People are just beautiful. It just seems things erode. The evil people are just so much... louder. I think the world needs a hero. Where is our Martin Luther King Junior? Where is our Jesus Christ? Where is the Ghandi of our time? Who is going to take up the campegn? It can't be me, all of the things going wrong for so many people.. its crushed the life out of me. I think I am too empathic to some of the suffering in the world sometimes. I hear about the problems in Sudan and I don't talk to anyone for weeks. I just sit alone in my room with all the lights off in unshakable despair. I go to work, but I'm a zombie there, on my mind, ever-present, is how can we let things like this happen? Arent we beautiful?!? Are we not Heroic?
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I had a period during which i used to hate the world(misanthrope), but that really is lame and an "easy"way out(or so it seems at the time)..hatred is soo self-destructive and self consuming. It takes more strength to love and understand and in the long term is far more productive both to yourself and those around you..I'm not about to launch into biblical stuff though, i just think that's bollocks, to be fair. You have to find self-belief/courage.
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Gusiness works. Just not freaking american Pislner. Boo on american "beer" Beer =/= anything made in the country of my birth. We just can't seem to get it right.
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Budwieser: the king of beers. No, its not.
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more accuratley, Budwieser is the office temp with a bad attitude of Beers.
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true...ha ha budweiser is sh*t. what you said about the wrong-doers/evil twats in the world being louder is true to. And Yes, you're empathic/sensitive, that's why you FEEL..I wouldn't be feeling so much better/still talking to you now if you weren't. I finally found a good reason to use this internet malarkey..there really are good things in this world
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www.somethingawful.com here is another thing that this internet malarkey can do pretty well :P Have you ever had thoughts that human kind just needs to fade out of the scene sometimes? I was reading about how a Orca in Miami was being mistreated... I just lost it. I wouldent talk to anyone for weeks. My dad asked me to go fishing and I started screaming at him about how he can be so cruel....
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would be amazing to hook up with you down the"local", you sound like a fellow soul.. It's all just a ride at the end of the day(as mr bill hicks once said),..not a dress rehearsal and we're all a long time dead..you have to take it as it comes, acknowledge that we're not here for long and change (re freinds etc)can be a GOOD thing. A rollercoaster is al we're on- you can't have the ups without the downs...Christ, am i just a cheesy cliche'd quote generator?lol Re; humans fade out-i used to constantly will it to happen..sometimes feel that we're just a nasty virus..but whether we are or not, we're still here and have to make the most of it(another cliche, goddammit)
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you can't carry the weight of the world-have to let it go. There were far worse things going on before either you or I wrere here, and you have to acept that there always will be..
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Bill Hicks is the path to wisdom....
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Hell im starting to get scared enough of my country I might end up local sometime... :P
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Bill Hicks is one reason why you're country ain't all that bad. Just such a shame he isn't around to add his(inspirational)voice. A comedian or a prophet? Where is he when we need him the most. The good always die too soon..that's the real tragedy
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I'm not from salford either, godammit-that's a sh*thole, lol. Manchester!..not much better and only around the corner..lol
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Ironicaly enough, he died of pancreatic cancer caused by smoking. Makes me go buy another pack....
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This is devolving into a chat :P Would you like my email?
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i've got one ciggie left mate..and i don't believe he died. don't know how, but just think that was one big cover up. Can you imagine what kind of a threat he'd be to global politics(lying bastards)he'd be now?! Yeah, please..i'm on windows or google.. (email removed), or (email removed) OR myspace.com/pedal_pushin_red_ed...(i'm a big mountain biking loon. Take a look and see what i'm about if you want
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it won't let me put up my email, but only myspace..?
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emails wont display on here :P theres a chatroom around the bend we can use if we want to share contact information.
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way up at the top, click "chat" open it in a new tab if youve got firefox just in case it kills this.
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round the bend..? you sure you're not local? lol I'm new to this malarkey.. ok will do. If it goes down, look up myspace thanks mate
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egoodinson @ googlemail.com
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allrighty adding you.
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nice one..see you there in a minute? easier than all this chat room stuff..
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i'm closing this window now..all this chat is makin me a bit confused..D'oh, i'm such a technophobe/hillbilly lol
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Join a online dating service, singlesnet.com is a good one. Reach out to other people
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Sounds like you were initally asking for advice on how to get out of the depression you find yourself in. Sounds quite overwhelming. I suggest making yourself go do something new. Something you have wanted to do but have not done yet. Join a hiking or walking club. Get out. There are many others who are in the same situation as yours. Sounds to me like you are in limbo prior to moving on to the next level. You need to move, get out and walk, look at the beauty around you. Listen to the wind.
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I too felt the way that you do. After I reconnected with God- going back to church, daily prayers, reading the bible...........I feel more hopeful. Overtime you see that you can make a difference in the world and the loneliness dissappears because you have God and the Holy Spirit with you if you are open to it. Once you allow God into your life, things naturally come- its really quite amazing!
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What do you think that it takes, to MAKE a person happy?
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Id like to make a new friend, I think that would make me pretty **** happy.
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I would like YOU to be MY friend.